U kNOw - What a CATastrophe ...

Three weeks gone since the results of the CAT were declared - three weeks since the dates for 6 interviews and 6 group discussions have been looming over my head - three weeks of staying up late in the night, not because i am studying, but simply because i am hanging out.

Now with a tryst with Lucknow coming up next week, all those nights screaming 'UNO' and 'caught' need to come to a halt. Those random visits to movie halls and tea stalls, the getaways to Khan markets in the middle of the night, the working back after dinner - must take a backseat.

Academics is something, they say, i must know well. If that were the case, pray explain why I hadn't gone about doing an MS. How does one prepare 4 years and 40 core subjects in a span of 4 days.

They argue, you fool. How can you not know GK and current affairs of the entire world. You are after all a global citizen. Yes please, i ask. If my examiner knows the prime minister of Tonga, i will devote my entire life to studying politics and world economy.

Which incidentally brings me to another cheap-skate they want to pull of at my expense. I am a stupid engineer. A computer one at that. Why the deuce would i have the remotest idea of GDP and fiscal deficit, given that i don't even know my own subjects. Tell me those numbers and solve a problem i might. But no, they have to ask me the problem and my opinion. In a country as diverse as India, there are going to be a billion opinions on macro-economy and the budget and the atrocities of the Finance minister. Does my liking or hating the budget going to change my way of living. I am going to pay the tax irrespective of the slab. I can crib about it for hours even if he eases the rates. I am here to learn these things. Knowing them is not getting me the Nobel Prize for sure.

If some gyaan guru from the IIMs reads my blog and decides to not select me, then so be it. Their justification would be that a leader of tomorrow does not express such negative chi. But i am not asking to become a leader. I simply want to be a better manager. And this involves all of Planning, Leading, Organizing and Controlling.

And this whole stupid basis of a GD is beyond me. Obviously, when the great B-schools consider selection or rejection on a GD, then they might be having a very good reason for it. Probably, if i do get to that B-school, i might just figure it out. But today, all i see is a fish-market, with the most vocal trader trying to sell of his rotten stock, while the genuine guy keeps waiting for the correct customer to sell his good quality fish. Ultimately, the entire market closes down and everybody is put out of the misery of the bad smell

Last week i attended this workshop on GD and PI, trying to take away some pointers. I met all kinds of people. Some with "Black Eyes", and some without. What i did see in commonality was the fact that there was always one guy in these group discussions who wanted to start, conclude and keep speaking on for the entire 20 minutes, irrespective of whether he even knew anything on the topic. There were others who did a blitzkrieg attack, annihilated the opponents and went back. There were others like me, the Silent night ghosts. They came, they saw and they went away. Sometimes, they would bring the ball to the ground, and then the rest of the field would play football.

Well amidst all of this what i have learnt is that Simon and Garfunkel still are the best duo around, and listening to them lets me keep my mind of such petty matters. Oh how i missed my long forgotten cassette tape, only to feel rejuvenated again.

So the keyboard stops now. I am homeward bound and feeling groovy. Old friends and bookends have gone by, and even though I might not find Mrs. Robinson, let me search for my Emily, wherever she may be ...

Memento Moir 2007

Following the steps of Cyrus 'Bakra' Broacha, i am going to replicate the Year that Wasn't - memoirs of 2007 - the highs and lows - the good, the bad and the uglys

I know, i know - same old sordid cliched topic - but even though a non-conformist that i am, some things just don't change !!

In near chronological order, encapsulating the year of the pig ...

• 1st of Jan began on the Star Virgo, partying away to glory amidst friends - A 4 day long cruise of Phuket and Penang ensued - good beginning to a new year
• IIM results out - i am one of those (250,000 - 5,000) guys
• A sad parting away from "beloved" Can-la land of Singapore
• Back to India - Gurgaon pollution aggravates allergy - put on a 3month antibiotic vaccination course.
• A promotion comes calling.
• 23rd Jan - I sign up to become a Farmer, more rather a bonded laborer.
• The trauma continues - we celebrate Valentines day when Mr. Bhatt wishes the team at 9am on the conference call.
• 13th/19th Feb - Happy birthday to me - Both birthdays spent alone in the office working.
• Finally a call from FMS - the knut that i am - i kick a university after an admit - i am still wondering if it was worth it.
• I also manage to become a SAS certified ninja.
• A torrid quarter comes to a brief halt interluded by my cousins wedding, allowing me to really enjoy myself after a long time.
• Silver lining on a very dark cloud - workload eases as "They" mirage us with the "promised land"
• Come August - turmoil - rumble in the bronx - the company has seen its worst for the better.
• Simon and Garfunkel remind me - Old friends, bookends - some new ones made though.
• A dull september - work continues - people come and people go - Dear friend 'Lee'ves the team.
• October brought back good memories of the TT tourni - i prove my 'klutzness'
• Nov was hectic - GMAT and CAT all around - apps to fill, essays to write
• 18th Nov - the final nail in a Farmers coffin - probably the saddest day of the year for me.
• Kabootar ja ja ja happens with a trip to Kansas - first visit to Amrika - i fall in love with snow (and a zillion airhostesses on the way)
• My parents celebrate their 25th wedding anniversary - unfortunately i am unable to join them.
• A call from ISB - seems surprising but some good news finaly.
• An eventful journey back home - miss my flight, loose my baggages for more than a week, and celebrate christmas running around immigration agents rather than under the mistletoe at Schipol.
• A quiet new year with the family - ice cream and cake.

Well, the year also saw me catching up on a few movies that were not half as bad as the ones i watched in 2007 - Memento, Eternal Sunshine, Pursuit of Happyness, Saw 4, Forrest Gump, The Butterfly Effect.

Overall, the year was decent - had its share of moments - it passed quite quickly infact - it was just yesterday it seemed ...

The Butterfly Effect ...

Coincidences, coincidences ...
I watch the movie barely last week, i am thunder-struck by the concept, the beauty of the ending, and think of reading up more on the chaos theory.

Turns out, i don't need to. Get a practical first hand, within days.

So, if memory serves me right, how do they put it -

"It has been said that something as small as the flutter of a butterfly's wing can ultimately cause a typhoon halfway around the world."

Well, transliterate that into -

"Snowfall in Overland Park can cause you to lose your baggages in New Delhi ..."

So obviously, i learn about it the hard way.
A flight from Kansas City that was supposed to depart at 3pm, gets off the ground at 5:30pm; when salt has finally melted some of the heavy snow on the runway. The flight has a fated passenger to Newark. No points for guessing who. The passenger is turning and twisting in his little seat thinking of the next flight he is sure to miss. The accursed flight touches down at Newark an hour after the connection as left. After running 40 gate terminals around the airport (i land at gate 67, and takeoff at 103), i reach half panting, with almost zero hope, to see a plane to Peurto Rico departing instead of the one to New Delhi.

Now comes the hard part - locating someone who can help me solve this muck.
I ultimately trudge back down to don't know where; trying to locate a help desk. Surprising as it may seem, nobody on the airport knows what a help desk is !! I finally manage to see a long line at one terminal. Curiosity saved the cat this time. I happen to identify it as a 'Service Center' for Continental airlines. After standing in queue for about an hour amidst other helpless beings as myself, i realized i wasn't the only one hit by delayed flights. Pain reduced, you ask? Probably yes. Self sadistic pleasure i would call it.

Ultimately, i managed to get to the "agent" at the desk, identified the problem and asked for a solution - which came in the form of a quick tour of Amsterdam. I was to be re-routed to Delhi via a stop-over at the Schipol. Not again, i thought. If i missed my connection again, i would be stranded in the drug and sex capital of the world. Not a bad place to be though, especially when as the air-hostess put it - you don't require a visa in the Netherlands, only a smile.

Dreams, dreams. Reality came crashing down when i was instructed to take a sky train, find my shuttle, and retire to the nearest hotel for a one night 'complimentary' stay with a couple of meal vouchers, which would pass off as loose change at those hotel rates. Barely a few hours of putting up, and you leave again at 12 noon check out time. I wasn't in a mood to hang around at $100 a day. So back to the airport, where after the usual strip search at immigrations, i put my butt off to sleep on the lounge. Apprehensive, with no clue as to where my luggage was currently (despite the assurances from the helpdesk that it would be re-routed the same as me), and no idea of the departing gate, it seemed like a flight in itself, stuck in a seat for 7 hours, hearing every announcement, no where to go.

Well, cut to the chase, i came, i saw, and i went away. Schipol airport was cool in the festive season. Huge Christmas trees, lighting, and the mistletoe. Two eight hour flights and a stopover later, i found myself without my baggages at New Delhi and in love with the KLM flight attendant. As obvious, all she did was smile flirtatiously, take her baggages and leave - leaving me at the conveyor belt, head swooning, both for her and looking at the suitcases go round.

After spending Christmas night at the airport, trying to locate my bags, nothing came of it, and i had to file in a complaint. Its been over 7 days since i last saw my bags at Kansas. I havn't heard from the authorities at the airport, or the CO/KLM flight group. Pleaded with the IGI help center but to no avail. They find themselves as helpless trying to trace my bags.
So after giving up hope that i would ever see my precious wardrobe again, with all the new business suits, shoes, watch and stuff (includes the chocolates i was pestered for), i had decided to go ahead and buy myself atleast a new razor before anything else.

But surprisingly, some other butterfly must have fluttered its wings in Tokyo, because a windfall occurred this evening. As i was midway through this blog post, i get a phone call, immediately recognizing the KLM office number. I answer with a bated breath, and hear the good news. No, my cat is not pregnant. But something will get delivered. My dear baggages arrived at my door step late night - everything sealed and perfectly intact. I couldn't have done a better job myself.

So with all tension dispersed, i finally decided to gorge on the chocolates myself, rather than take them to the place where they were intended to go. As it is, most were melting. Too tempting to resist. My sister dug in as well. I feel good now.

That's one lesson learnt. Better let the official laptop get lost in transit than your personal luggage. Atleast then the office will be supportive in trying to locate it ...

Tabula Rasa

No, i am not referring to a computer game or that disc in town which goes by the same name ...

I fall back to the original Latin - the Unscribed Tabulet.

Tabula Rasa, the clean slate, the origin of the human mind.
What shapes it into what it is? The blank parchment that we are all born with. Is it "Nature" or is it "Nurture" that metamorphosises us into who we are, into what we become.

What the mind thinks must be in it; in the same sense as letters are on a tablet which bears no actual writing -- Aristotle, On the Soul

What is knowledge, if nothing but the truth that we are inclined to believe.
I think now behind this solitude that keeps me behind glass walls, who am i? What is my purpose?

I don't wish to go into this Platonic/Freudean debate.
I simly wonder sometimes, how nice it could be to blank this slate clean of things unwanted, memories undesired, pains conflicting. Reach into the shadowed depths of my heart, my mind, and pluck out those sorrows. Re-write the mind with thoughts cherished.

Speak the truth, and the truth shall set you free. Fear naught but the fear itself.
Do these be but speeches brave? Or are they the very foundations that rest the mind at ease.

The reaction of senses to the external world of objects imprints our minds. That is what imbalances the Tabula Rasa.
Oh! How i wish, how i wish i could sweep the mind of all the dirt that clogs it, and refreshen it - vibrant, joyous, carefree. To relive the childhood, the moments of nascency.

My thoughts no more do me justice. I no longer trust if i hold true to myself, let alone to those i love. I make a prayer to my own heart.

Give me that languid, peaceful space,
where falter not my dreams may;
winds of conceit harden thy brows on face,
let me be pure as i was born, to thee i say.

Bonded by chains, break through them, set upon myself the task, I do, to realign the Tabula Rasa ...

Snow is beautiful ...

Hmmm ...
I have been cursing snow for ever now - right from the time i slipped and fell down a snow cliff in manali, (almost) breaking my nose; to being stuck inside my hotel room for 2 consecutive weeks like a rat in a cage.

But today i finally braved the 15F (-10C) temperature and marched out to explore the town on foot. It had snowed all night yesterday and today morning, but the sun had been up for a couple of hours, giving me hope enough to go and "chill out".

So at 2pm on a freezy winter day i leave house for my first visit around Overland Park. I had decided to go to this lake near my place, which from a distance kind of looked like this perfect spot - the old country side, a large lake, with snow all around, and a frosted bridge across it. The scene was breath-taking. Dry leaves, green winter grass, ice cold water, and snow all around.



No point capturing those moments on a camera. Its only something that you can see yourself and appreciate. Probably try and capture them on paper - but i am not too great at doing that either.

Well, feeling hungry, i moved on to a random route just walking where the road led me - kind of realized that i had taked the path to the town plaza - the surroundings were just so pure - snow all around, cars skidding down the highway, ice on the sidewalk, huge countryside manors with kids sleighing down the snow slopes, standing so far apart you could fit 10 elephants sidelong, the sub zero wind blasting me in the face, ears and fingertips numb, no other pedestrian dumb enough to be out but me, and small lakes every 5 streets frozen with sleet.

Aah, the beauty of it all ...

My glasses had frozen so hard up that i had to look at the menu without them. No wonder to my embarrasment, i ended up giving a 20$ note instead of a 50$, and then asking for 30$ more on the change. A hot cappuccino on the way back alongwith my lunch was just the perfect way to beat the cold. Though it was a different matter that my fingers were now really about to breakoff in this chill carrying the lunch packet in one hand and the cofee in the other. My watch stopped at 3:05pm. It just couldnt take the chill i guess. It however returned to normal functionality when i came back to my warm abode after 1.5 hours of a gruelling hike. But the most amazing part was the fact that my tears froze. They literaly froze to ice and stuck on my face. It was a wow moment.

To round off the perfect day, even though i skid a couple of times, i did not fall. Apprehensive of the new roads, i never lost my way. And most importantly, though i hated the "icky-yellow-brown" snow before, i believe i will look upon in it in a different light from now on. Wish i could have stayed longer till christmas and enjoyed it in the snow ...