Return to my Roots

May 30, 2007

I have just about returned from a trip to my paternal hometown. Located in Surat, and abundant in a Parsi populace i had never seen, the trip was an amazing boon to get away from the hectic office life, and meet up family members i hadn't met in a very long time.

The trip started with an hours flight to Baroda, and then about 3-4 hrs on the highway. I was sorely missing my earplugs because Born to be Wild was jumping around to get played. A nice little lunch on the dhaba enroute could be termed as "interesting". This was on a friday evening. And then came the Saturday where i realized i had a pretty big family :)

A day before my cousin's wedding (obviously that was the reason i had gone on this trip), there was this "small" family gathering. Now consider this as a mathematical problem. My paternal grandmother had six other siblings, each of whom had atleast 4 kids each (one of them being my daddy dearest), and this genration having a couple of kids each as well. Now also throw in their spouses and their close relatives. Seemingly a hash of sorts, with me totaly oblivious to the fact of whose-who. Everytime my dad got up to meet somebody i would be having this bewildered expression on my face, thinking, now who the deuce is this. Then i would get introduced and i would be like - aah i see - as if i had attained all knowledge and obtained Nirvana.

The best part about all this being that all the people knew me quite well - "yes, i had seen you when you were so small. I dont think you would remember me !"
I mean, doesnt my obviously bamboozled face tell you that already ...

In all this melee my younger sister was probably even more perplexed than i was. We being Delhites, rarely manage to make it to the west coast. And thus our interactions with all other distant cousins was neglibible.

Well the outcome of all this being - when we reached back home after a hectic and eventful day, we sat down and re-created our family tree chart. From top to bottom and left to right we identified all there was know about my roots and the various connections.

Well the next day went more smoothly now. But wonders never cease. You always end up coming across relatives not present in your tree chart !!
Overall it was an "enriching" experience, to meet up old relatives and attend my sister's wedding. Had a great time, lots of fun, saw some really old pics of my family, and went back to my roots. More importantly, i turned back a non-vegetarian. There was no way i could stop myself from not having Parsi non-veg cuisines - "sali-marghi", "bhaji-dana-nu-gos", "machi-patiao", "kheema patis", and on and on. My mooth still drools.
This being a marriage there were obviously good looking chicks around (i mean girls this time - not the non-veg item on my dish). My cousin obviously asked me to let him know in case i was interested in any one !!

And as weddings go, you always end up being asked the question - so are you the next in line ?
Oh well old grannies, meet me in the funeral parlour, i'll put the same question to you :)

Jeepers Creepers

Apr 18, 2007

Its not about scary horror movies that i am going to follow on about in this scrap. You here the phrase jeepers creepers et al and you kind of synonimize it with a dark room, all alone, 1:00 in the night, horror movies blah blah ...

I wanted to talk about the part about being all alone here, and for a lack of a more imaginative post topic, i ended up using this.

Anyways, the point is : How many times have we faced a scenario, where we are all alone, with absolutely no soul around (living or dead), just "trying" to while away some idle time, simply because there is a petty thing that needs to be done, because it needs to be done and nobody else wants to do it, and you have nothing else to do while it is being done. Stare out into the space maybe - but that's only when you are doing your petty little work out in the open, which generally is not the case (now don't u try and fit a weird connotation to this).

And hence the question - who to blame - what to do ?
I mean somebody should have the decency to give you company - how would it be put - "moral" support by "physical" presence ???

/* Bit of geek talk */
I have realized that the work at hand and output/utilization/efficiency are directly correlated to the number and type of people around you. It seems to follow an abstract kind of a curve - something i know and understand but cannot explain. The more the number of people buzzing around you, less is the work you manage to complete. The inverse is also true. But this is not a tan90 situation, where zilch people around would mean infinite productivity. There is a lower cap to this as well. For some time, being all alone - the silence and the quiet - are actually good predictors of my efficiency model.
/* End of Bit of geek talk */

But then after a point it feels - why the hell am i banging my head on something others are least bothered about. Is it because i am a fool enough to be good and sugary nice to not deny the work laid out in front of me. Or is it that the others are just too shameless to share the burden even after well placed hints that kind of make it so obvious. In the end when realization dawns, the simple statement would be - "you should have said so explicitly - how would i realize that you wouldn't be able to work it out yourself".

And the next obvious question that arises is - what next - so how do i spend this eerie time all alone myself. And the next obvious answer is -

I write this stupid blog entry ...

The Dark is Generous ...

Apr 14, 2007

It was the Friday the 13th yesterday - obviously it meant something bad had to happen - nothing much actually went wrong - until the moment i decided to go back home - it was then i realized i had some pending work - not much - just enough to keep me in office till 5am again.

Been a week since i wrote something. Original or not, this time i am directly quoting something i read and liked and got "inspired" by (not like Anu Malik though)

A few lines from the Star Wars book - part 3 (Anakin Skywalker's transformation to the dark side as Lord Darth Vader)

The lines portray not only the flow of the entire Star Wars saga, but if you end up thinking about it, the lines are actually quite true and significant. We are all lost and hidden from the truth. Because speak the truth and the truth shall set you free !!

Some people think these lines are too pessimistic, and thats where is trapped the dark side. It is the optimism towards the end of the passage that has to be considered and not the gloomy feeling otherwise. If you think negative, you fall onto the dark side - lol :-)

Read on ...

The dark is generous.

Its first gift is concealment:
our true faces lie in the dark beneath our skins, our true hearts remain shadowed deeper still.
But the greatest concealment lies not in protecting our secret truths, but in hiding from us the truths of others.
The dark protects us from what we dare not know.

Its second gift is comforting illusion:
the ease of gentle dreams in night's embrace, the beauty that imagination brings to what would repel in day's harsh light.
But the greatest of its comforts is the illusion that the dark is temporary:
that every night brings a new day.
Because it is day that is temporary.
Day is the illusion.

Its third gift is the light itself:
as days are defined by nights that divide them, as stars are defined by the infinite black through which they wheel,
the dark embraces the light, and brings it forth from the center of its own self.
With each victory of the light, it is the dark that wins.

The dark is generous, and it is patient.
It is the dark that seeds cruelty into justice, that drips contempt into compassion, that poisons love with grains of doubt.
The dark can be patient, because the slightest drop of rain will cause those seeds to sprout.
The rain will come, and the seeds will sprout, for the dark is the soil in which they grow,
and it is the clouds above them, and it waits behind the star that gives them light.
The dark's patience is infinite.
Eventually, even stars burn out.

The dark is generous, and it is patient, and it always wins.
It always wins because it is everywhere.
It is in the wood that burns in your hearth, and in the kettle on the fire;
it is under your chair and under your table and under the sheets on your bed.
Walk in the midday sun and the dark is with you, attached to the soles of your feet.
The brightest light casts the darkest shadow.

The dark is generous, and it is patient, and it always wins --
but in the heart of its strength lies weakness:
one lone candle is enough to hold it back.
Love is more than a candle.
Love can ignite the stars.

People and their Idiosyncracies

Apr 08, 2007

Proverb: To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism - To steal ideas from many is research ...

/* Spoiler starts */
What i write ahead is actually related to the post topic this time. So if you thought this is arbit stuff, please read on. Title or not, I'll try and keep it random, i swear :-)
/* Spoiler ends*/

PS - i just couldn't resist adding those geeky comment symbols !!

So, since as always i was wondering who or what should be my target today in here, and while talking to a couple of friends whom i met up, i thought why not embarrass them more by writing about them here, especially when they asked me not too. I mean, who would be dumb enough to suggest such an outrageous favor of sorts. I am evil.

First, dear old "white elephant", my last king of "Thailand" (yeah not Scotland). Average age of elephants is 40, but has dropped to 24. Given that your still single past your average age doesn't sound good to my ears. And Dude, whether the name ends in Z or I doesn't matter. Just go for it ... Well the point i had to make here was - U needn't freak out at instances we discussed. We must all live for ourselves to an extent as well. Till what point can we just keep thinking about others and not do the things we want to do with all our hearts and soul into it. And so, i am not editing anything i wrote or write in the future. Learn to accept the facts and deal with it. (I am so going to be sore for all this tomorrow).

Second, someone whose so close to "life" shouldn't shun away from the company they keep - sometimes accepting and mixing work and pleasure is alright. People talk all the time. Stressing yourself based on that is not going to help you or others around you. Uncomfortable or uncanny, situations keep occurring. Try not hiding them. Sometimes choices need to be made. I generally end up being wrong in your case and then listening to loads of left-right thrashing, but its ok. I have learnt to live with that. So must you with my idiosyncrasies and i with yours.

A couple of people more i would have wanted to discuss and probably malign (couldn't think of a better word for them) - but this being a public blog, lets leave it at that.

Damn, such a good day it has been and yet such gloom in my entry - naa - something better needs to be done. I could write a poetry in here but it is of a sombre mood as well. Let me think of something better.

Till then - i contemplate - and so do you ...

When the Stars Go Blue

Apr 07, 2007

My trip to Jaipur got derailed today. Plans never materialized and i decided to keep sleeping. It however gave my mom a little leeway to come after me for not (re)organizing my wardrobe. With summers setting in, winter clothes needed bundling up. So was the need to take a stock of the situation of summer accessories. Fortunately, the pile was big enough to last me this season. Otherwise i would have had to go shirt shopping with mommy dear. I don't really mind that, but why bother. I mean, mom, how does my choice of shirt have anything to do with my coming to a shop with you. You know my size and my style. You like shopping more than i do. Why wouldn't you get me something by yourself and shock me, err... i mean surprise me. As it is, how the shirt looks on me is a perception that other people are going to notice and comment on. Not me myself. Right !!!

Anyways, i ended up watching some soccer and Cheatskies grab vital 3 points with a fluke long ranger. Bad day when that happens because dear "Mannu" (as my mom calls them) generally end up messing theirs, and thus screwing the entire joy out of my as it is morose weekends.

I ended up having a nice sumptuous dinner of Gujarati thali, followed by jalebis.
For the uninitiated, jalebis are the round-round spiral things, that are quite sweet, spoil your teeth, end up coloring your shirt with sugar stains, and are made by frying flour dough in oil. I am not an expert chef like my friend hammy who knows the exact recipe for a dosa (yeah hammy, this is a leaf out of your book), so pardon my facts on jalebi if i got them worng. But most importantly, did i tell you that jalebis are orange in color. I think if i gift a kilo of these "Orange" colored sweeties to my boss Mr. AS, he should definitely be in a mood to promote me. You would ask me what has jalebis got to do with promotion. My reply is nothing. You missed the point if you could not decipher where the stress lay ...

Also, it was interesting to note the varied conceptualizations for my multi colored rage (aka my blog here). From words like jhataak, psychedelic, rave to word processors, all participants in the contest get a free ticket to the Blimagine cup. Keep imagining and blogging.

Ciao for now ...

Oh and for those who have had the nerve and guts to read till this line and are still wondering about what the hell in the whole wide world did the post title refer to with regards to the content in here, well, the answer is - "absolutely nothing". Except for being the title of a song written by Ryan Adams and performed by my darling Andrea and Bono, and being my favorite number, the name serves no other purpose.

Welcome to my world of random blogging :-)