Jeepers Creepers

Apr 18, 2007

Its not about scary horror movies that i am going to follow on about in this scrap. You here the phrase jeepers creepers et al and you kind of synonimize it with a dark room, all alone, 1:00 in the night, horror movies blah blah ...

I wanted to talk about the part about being all alone here, and for a lack of a more imaginative post topic, i ended up using this.

Anyways, the point is : How many times have we faced a scenario, where we are all alone, with absolutely no soul around (living or dead), just "trying" to while away some idle time, simply because there is a petty thing that needs to be done, because it needs to be done and nobody else wants to do it, and you have nothing else to do while it is being done. Stare out into the space maybe - but that's only when you are doing your petty little work out in the open, which generally is not the case (now don't u try and fit a weird connotation to this).

And hence the question - who to blame - what to do ?
I mean somebody should have the decency to give you company - how would it be put - "moral" support by "physical" presence ???

/* Bit of geek talk */
I have realized that the work at hand and output/utilization/efficiency are directly correlated to the number and type of people around you. It seems to follow an abstract kind of a curve - something i know and understand but cannot explain. The more the number of people buzzing around you, less is the work you manage to complete. The inverse is also true. But this is not a tan90 situation, where zilch people around would mean infinite productivity. There is a lower cap to this as well. For some time, being all alone - the silence and the quiet - are actually good predictors of my efficiency model.
/* End of Bit of geek talk */

But then after a point it feels - why the hell am i banging my head on something others are least bothered about. Is it because i am a fool enough to be good and sugary nice to not deny the work laid out in front of me. Or is it that the others are just too shameless to share the burden even after well placed hints that kind of make it so obvious. In the end when realization dawns, the simple statement would be - "you should have said so explicitly - how would i realize that you wouldn't be able to work it out yourself".

And the next obvious question that arises is - what next - so how do i spend this eerie time all alone myself. And the next obvious answer is -

I write this stupid blog entry ...

The Dark is Generous ...

Apr 14, 2007

It was the Friday the 13th yesterday - obviously it meant something bad had to happen - nothing much actually went wrong - until the moment i decided to go back home - it was then i realized i had some pending work - not much - just enough to keep me in office till 5am again.

Been a week since i wrote something. Original or not, this time i am directly quoting something i read and liked and got "inspired" by (not like Anu Malik though)

A few lines from the Star Wars book - part 3 (Anakin Skywalker's transformation to the dark side as Lord Darth Vader)

The lines portray not only the flow of the entire Star Wars saga, but if you end up thinking about it, the lines are actually quite true and significant. We are all lost and hidden from the truth. Because speak the truth and the truth shall set you free !!

Some people think these lines are too pessimistic, and thats where is trapped the dark side. It is the optimism towards the end of the passage that has to be considered and not the gloomy feeling otherwise. If you think negative, you fall onto the dark side - lol :-)

Read on ...

The dark is generous.

Its first gift is concealment:
our true faces lie in the dark beneath our skins, our true hearts remain shadowed deeper still.
But the greatest concealment lies not in protecting our secret truths, but in hiding from us the truths of others.
The dark protects us from what we dare not know.

Its second gift is comforting illusion:
the ease of gentle dreams in night's embrace, the beauty that imagination brings to what would repel in day's harsh light.
But the greatest of its comforts is the illusion that the dark is temporary:
that every night brings a new day.
Because it is day that is temporary.
Day is the illusion.

Its third gift is the light itself:
as days are defined by nights that divide them, as stars are defined by the infinite black through which they wheel,
the dark embraces the light, and brings it forth from the center of its own self.
With each victory of the light, it is the dark that wins.

The dark is generous, and it is patient.
It is the dark that seeds cruelty into justice, that drips contempt into compassion, that poisons love with grains of doubt.
The dark can be patient, because the slightest drop of rain will cause those seeds to sprout.
The rain will come, and the seeds will sprout, for the dark is the soil in which they grow,
and it is the clouds above them, and it waits behind the star that gives them light.
The dark's patience is infinite.
Eventually, even stars burn out.

The dark is generous, and it is patient, and it always wins.
It always wins because it is everywhere.
It is in the wood that burns in your hearth, and in the kettle on the fire;
it is under your chair and under your table and under the sheets on your bed.
Walk in the midday sun and the dark is with you, attached to the soles of your feet.
The brightest light casts the darkest shadow.

The dark is generous, and it is patient, and it always wins --
but in the heart of its strength lies weakness:
one lone candle is enough to hold it back.
Love is more than a candle.
Love can ignite the stars.

People and their Idiosyncracies

Apr 08, 2007

Proverb: To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism - To steal ideas from many is research ...

/* Spoiler starts */
What i write ahead is actually related to the post topic this time. So if you thought this is arbit stuff, please read on. Title or not, I'll try and keep it random, i swear :-)
/* Spoiler ends*/

PS - i just couldn't resist adding those geeky comment symbols !!

So, since as always i was wondering who or what should be my target today in here, and while talking to a couple of friends whom i met up, i thought why not embarrass them more by writing about them here, especially when they asked me not too. I mean, who would be dumb enough to suggest such an outrageous favor of sorts. I am evil.

First, dear old "white elephant", my last king of "Thailand" (yeah not Scotland). Average age of elephants is 40, but has dropped to 24. Given that your still single past your average age doesn't sound good to my ears. And Dude, whether the name ends in Z or I doesn't matter. Just go for it ... Well the point i had to make here was - U needn't freak out at instances we discussed. We must all live for ourselves to an extent as well. Till what point can we just keep thinking about others and not do the things we want to do with all our hearts and soul into it. And so, i am not editing anything i wrote or write in the future. Learn to accept the facts and deal with it. (I am so going to be sore for all this tomorrow).

Second, someone whose so close to "life" shouldn't shun away from the company they keep - sometimes accepting and mixing work and pleasure is alright. People talk all the time. Stressing yourself based on that is not going to help you or others around you. Uncomfortable or uncanny, situations keep occurring. Try not hiding them. Sometimes choices need to be made. I generally end up being wrong in your case and then listening to loads of left-right thrashing, but its ok. I have learnt to live with that. So must you with my idiosyncrasies and i with yours.

A couple of people more i would have wanted to discuss and probably malign (couldn't think of a better word for them) - but this being a public blog, lets leave it at that.

Damn, such a good day it has been and yet such gloom in my entry - naa - something better needs to be done. I could write a poetry in here but it is of a sombre mood as well. Let me think of something better.

Till then - i contemplate - and so do you ...

When the Stars Go Blue

Apr 07, 2007

My trip to Jaipur got derailed today. Plans never materialized and i decided to keep sleeping. It however gave my mom a little leeway to come after me for not (re)organizing my wardrobe. With summers setting in, winter clothes needed bundling up. So was the need to take a stock of the situation of summer accessories. Fortunately, the pile was big enough to last me this season. Otherwise i would have had to go shirt shopping with mommy dear. I don't really mind that, but why bother. I mean, mom, how does my choice of shirt have anything to do with my coming to a shop with you. You know my size and my style. You like shopping more than i do. Why wouldn't you get me something by yourself and shock me, err... i mean surprise me. As it is, how the shirt looks on me is a perception that other people are going to notice and comment on. Not me myself. Right !!!

Anyways, i ended up watching some soccer and Cheatskies grab vital 3 points with a fluke long ranger. Bad day when that happens because dear "Mannu" (as my mom calls them) generally end up messing theirs, and thus screwing the entire joy out of my as it is morose weekends.

I ended up having a nice sumptuous dinner of Gujarati thali, followed by jalebis.
For the uninitiated, jalebis are the round-round spiral things, that are quite sweet, spoil your teeth, end up coloring your shirt with sugar stains, and are made by frying flour dough in oil. I am not an expert chef like my friend hammy who knows the exact recipe for a dosa (yeah hammy, this is a leaf out of your book), so pardon my facts on jalebi if i got them worng. But most importantly, did i tell you that jalebis are orange in color. I think if i gift a kilo of these "Orange" colored sweeties to my boss Mr. AS, he should definitely be in a mood to promote me. You would ask me what has jalebis got to do with promotion. My reply is nothing. You missed the point if you could not decipher where the stress lay ...

Also, it was interesting to note the varied conceptualizations for my multi colored rage (aka my blog here). From words like jhataak, psychedelic, rave to word processors, all participants in the contest get a free ticket to the Blimagine cup. Keep imagining and blogging.

Ciao for now ...

Oh and for those who have had the nerve and guts to read till this line and are still wondering about what the hell in the whole wide world did the post title refer to with regards to the content in here, well, the answer is - "absolutely nothing". Except for being the title of a song written by Ryan Adams and performed by my darling Andrea and Bono, and being my favorite number, the name serves no other purpose.

Welcome to my world of random blogging :-)

What's In a Name ???

.................................................................................................................................................
Apr 06, 2007

My second blog entry in a day. This is what happens when i refuse to leave my laptop alone. And look what i have done now to my blog. Spruced it up ever so much with color that even designers from NIFT are going to get a heart attack. I also ended up reverting back to my nearly original nickname rather than a cryptic pseudonym i was writing under. A friend suggested in a very 'matter of factly' way that i put up my blog link on my g-talk status because she wasn't going to memorize it for the rest of her life. So, well, i decided - if that was going to be the case, some posts needed deleting and some names needed editing. And since charity begins at home, i demystify my name as well, even though most of my juniors still know me only as "medusabane" sir.

Incidentally, the title here happens to be a nemesis of sorts. It was the title of a white paper i wrote while working on a project in my office. It was also the topic of my extempore for the FMS interview. Having a unique name does invite such varied concoctions from people all around. I am a Greek to someone, an Iranian to another, but an alien to most !!
Truly speaking, its actually good i have such a name. Its quite an ice-breaker in most situations, and evilly speaking, i tend to cash in such situations. Not my fault. I just go with the flow.

The second part about adding colors to my blog was simply because i was restless and the preexisting templates were boring to say the least - "what to do sir, i am to be liking the scribe template but it not to be having the option of stretch". Well at least now i can campaign for Nerolac or Asian paints - zindagi rangeen bana de !! What this also does, is take away the attention from my pathetic writing skills and focus them on my pathetic coloring schemes. I read somewhere that most people will visit sites or read books that have more pictures and colors in them than small font cluttered text.

The only question that now remains is - how do i make the people actually read this ??
Cos in the end, i am still "Perky P" and not any "Juggy D" or "Jazzy B" ...

Preserve Wildlife - Pickle a Squirrel ...

6 Apr, 2007

Just like the title heading, this post is again entering the Random Zone. Somehow i feel i am moving away from the concept of my blog name - The 5th dimension, where thoughts meet reality - there doesn't seem to be a reality check here. Though i wouldnt even put it to be an all out thought forum like dear little Spaceman 'the Spiff' Calvin and Sir 'Tigger' Hobbes enthusiastically share.

Well pulling myself back into writing what i intended to write here, the title is "obviously" stolen. Its not my style. Rather put, i ain't good enough to think up something like that. Its been clearly and shamelessly plagiarized from another blog that i had been reading earlier today. Also, don't expect me to name the blog. If i did, it wouldn't be plagiarism, rather it would end up being a bibliography.

The point i am making is - how do people end up writing so much daily and that too quality stuff. I surfed through 3-4 blog authors and read a few of their entries. Not exactly mind blowing but pretty good stuff. Especially the titles they think off - i mean that practically sets up half the tone and mood.

Okie i am back after leaving my blog midway and just browsing around again aimlessly. I mean what the hell am i even doing on the net right now. I should rather read up something and spend time better. Oh but then again - i am reading blogs - screwed up vicious circle it is.

I have a client meeting at 9pm. I think I'll skip that and get back to reading some Asimov and listening to dear Andrea. My managers should be "able" to handle the rut.

One more post down with just nothing going in as content. Damn it hammy - i blame you for it (now somebody has to get the stick - u being a junior are in the firing line)

Bloggers Paradox

05 Apr 2007

Hasn't everybody who blogs ever felt the frustration creep in when he/she gets in a mood to write something and decides like - here it comes - my best piece of blogging ever ... and suddenly the moment u punch the laptop keys - Whoom Crash Bang - all ideas disappeared !!!

You have nothing or nobody to write about, crib or discuss. It feels as if what a mundane day it has been. You did this and that, and yet you cannot say what you did. Nothing really significant to write up or share. Even if you did, you might end up not publishing it, simply because you wouldnt consider it a work of art ...

I think i am just writing right now simply for the heck of it - just because i came in to write and nowi feel challenged right now. None of this makes sense; a few incoherent repetitive ramblings just to relax and not get bored. I might as well read some better blogs and spend time productively.

Who knows i might come across a good topic to think about and might just plagiarize it myself. I mean who really cares. Its not as if I am using romantic couplets written by others and passing them as my own to some girl. Though come to think about it - the idea ain't half that bad. But on second thoughts - naaa - i probably could conjure up a few lines myself for my loved one if need be. They might end up being stupid or even dumb to an extent - but the pleasure of creating art in any form has always given me joy - i cant dance, sing or play - and yet .. and yet - i simply try.

Sure, i mean it gets obscene at times, the way i just try and go cacophonic - I don't intend to set a phobia of music into the people next to me - but kind of inevitably it just happens. I believe when people say so modestly "they don't sing well". I think we should all stick to bathroom singing. Thats the one time when the shower wont complain. But that's another story - somewhere sometime someplace ...

And hey - look what happened - i thought i would manage to write something good - i thought Oh God what should i write - i thought and couldn't think - i wrote and couldn't write - and yet i manage to fill in a few lines here - abstract abject arbit. Seems like i am getting good in things i can't do. Now that my friend is what i truly call a paradox :-)

Ulysses

Apr 04, 2007

The sheer joy of being able to leave my office at 9pm today has just made me more of a lunatic. Given the stress i have been under to continuously slog day in and night out, had taken a toll on my health - physically, mentally and emotionally ...

With suddenly all work materializing to a finish, and no backlogs or pile-ons apparating onto my plate, i simply was overwhelmed with emotions too good to be true or comprehended. I can understand how Sanjay Dutt would have felt in Zinda after he came out of that horrid cell - in his case it was fried wantons - in my case Paneer Tikka Pizza, Focaccia and Brownies.

Its been days since i got time for myself - let alone devoting time to others !!!
Thanks to a very close friends advice, i put my foot down to the inhuman torture (oh ok - it wasnt so bad as i am making it sound, but nonetheless - leaving at 7 am in the morning almost twice a week and coming back by 11 isnt something anyone would want)

I dont know till how long a time my manager would be able to digest my happiness - but that is not something i am worried about presently. As of now, its heaven, bliss and ulysses - all rolled into one ...